Curses

May. 13th, 2010 10:15 pm
tarod45: (shot glass)
I didn't get to watch the SPN finale in real time. This makes me quite sad. Why do I always end up with Thursday night classes? Tonight was the first class for Business Econ, and the dude took up every last minute of his three hours and ten minutes. Plus a few. So class didn't even end until after nine. I didn't get home, with one thing and another, until after ten. So no spn in real time. Not that I could have watched it anyway. Life interfered with me seeing 5x21 last week, and I kinda decided that, all things considered, it would be better to spare myself the suspense of the no-doubt heart-wrenching semi-finale, and just watch the two back to back. Which I'll just be doing anyway. So whatever. Just. I didn't even get the option. :(

Today was a good day, anyway. Aside from class, I also got my hair done, got my ears pierced again, and went to lunch/dinner with L.

I got my hair a lot shorter than I usually do -- usually it's an even just-above-shoulder length, and now it's just-below-chin length in front and just-above-neck length in back. I think it looks good. We'll have to see how it looks once I've washed and brushed it myself -- it always looks so much different than when the hair dresser does it.

I finally decided to just go for it, and got a third set of piercings in my ears. I love earrings, and any excuse to wear more of them is good by me. I got it done in an actual piercing parlor, as opposed to the previous three piercings (including the one that ended in disaster), which I just got done at those kiosks in the mall. This one, he did the piercing by hand, rather than with a gun, and it hurt quite a bit more. The last two mostly just felt like bee stings, although I remember the first one hurting about that much. I can't be sure about that, though: it was a long time ago, I was only ten, and my pain threshold was considerably lower. Also, that was the one that got a horrible infection. Could be I was already reacting (though I doubt it). Anyway, I now have a serviceable pair of hoops in my ears, and they're gonna be there for a couple of months, minimum. And my ears don't heal quickly, so it may be a bit longer than that. But, yay for more piercings. Though these will likely be my last. I might get one more in the cartilage of my ear(s), but that's it. I don't have any desire for bits of metal in any other part of my body.

Lunch went pretty well, I thought. L continues to be awesome, and she seems to like me, which, yay for me. We were eating in the Panera downstairs from my classroom so that I could duck out at the last possible second, and we got so caught up in a discussion of games and comic book movies, that I still managed to be late. That's a good sign, I think.

That was my day. It was a good day. And I will no doubt have more to say once I've seen 5x21 and 5x22. Just have to wait for for the latter to be put up.
tarod45: Sam in a mirror (dreamland)
So, I took my SCM final this morning, and was absolutely shocked to discover that I actually knew what the fuck I was doing. Kind of a new and exciting feeling when it comes to my accounting classes.

Also new and exciting is my new-found enthusiasm for Sam/Castiel. Well, not so much new-found, really. I've been fond of at least the idea of the pairing ever since the angel first made his appearance. It's just that, until 5x14, what little interaction Sam and Castiel had was distinctly hostile, and until 5x18, Castiel has always been entirely too focused on and taken with Dean for me to be able to really buy him with Sam. However, I found Castiel's big scene with Dean in 5x18 (you know the one) to be cathartic in the extreme, and my affection for the angel currently knows no bounds.

And, I may have read With Nothing (Left) Up my Sleeve by [livejournal.com profile] fakeplasticsnow, which was utterly awesome, and really let me believe that the pairing is plausible post-5x17.

Finally, I had an odd dream last night. It took the form a fic, and it began like this:
Cut for embarrassing silliness )
tarod45: (tired)
So, I decided to start trolling through some rec lists for J2 fics, particularly Big Bangs, opening promising looking fics in new tabs. Yeah, the tabs got completely out of control, and I now have a bookmark folder with thirty-nine entries.

Keep in mind that these are roughly thirty-nine Big Bangs, or otherwise quite long fics. Most of them are over 20k words, and a few of them are over 100k.

This is getting a little out of hand. No way am I going to have time to read all of this. On top of school, and the actual, honest-to-god books I'm in the middle of. I'd really like to be able to finish The Book of Lost Things.

I'm so tired right now, I just can't think about it. Thank god tomorrow (er, today?) is a holiday. No class for me... though I do have to do homework. Guh.

Well. Bed, for now. Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.
tarod45: Food! (food)
So, I seem to have broken through the block. I have four J2 AUs in my delicious account, and two more waiting in tabs, and I feel only very vaguely guilty. Fortunately, they're all massively AU, so I'm not in danger of breaking my brain. Really, as long as I make a determined effort to pretend that these people are all completely fictional characters, I'm alright.

I was rather surprised to discover that I really liked the chef!AU. Who'd'a'thunk, right? Of course, the fact that I'm kinda enamored of Top Chef (and also Hell's Kitchen; don't judge me) probably explains some of it.

And now, it is time to think about dinner. I really want a burger. However, I'm not going to be home over the weekend, and I still have most of a two-day-old rotisserie chicken, and a nearly-week-old carton of grape tomatoes that I really need to eat. Like, now. And also that already-opened bag of salad greens. I suppose I'm having another salad with chicken on top. Yay. (For the record, I like chicken onna salad. Just, you know, not almost every night for two weeks.)

But, best of all: NO CLASS ON MONDAY! HA! I get to put off my Strategic Cost homework even longer.

Good grief

Dec. 13th, 2009 09:00 pm
tarod45: (bright idea)
So, my group partner and I had to give a presentation for our Entrepreneurial Project (and, really, genuinely enlightening as the project has been, the most useful thing I've learned is how to spell entrepreneurial), and I think we actually did a really good job. We were confident, we didn't ramble, we didn't say "like" every other word, we didn't mumble. It was good. However, due to a combination of the other groups all going long on their presentations, and technical difficulties on our part, the professor had to leave before we could even start. So we gave our awesome presentation to the TA, instead. This after the professor commented on how the other three groups needed to work on their presentation skills (see list of things we didn't do). Such is the story of my life.

Said TA then asked me to email him a copy of my spreadsheets. Which I am about to do. And I am debating whether to ask him if he'd like to catch a bite to eat some time. Because he seems very nice, and I kinda got the impression he might be interested, and also, he's got a nose to die for. Seriously, I have a thing for noses, and his? Yum.

Alas, he's probably younger than I am. This is not an unforgivable sin, or anything. I'm just kinda on the prowl for a guy at least my age, preferably a couple of years older. Just 'cause. Unfortunately, those are a little hard to come by just at the moment: they're all off in the work force or in grad school. Y'know, where I'd like to be. Should be. Whatever.

Is it inappropriate to ask your TA who, as the only witness to your presentation, has influence on your grade, out on a date? Yeah. Yeah, it is. Oh well. Maybe next week, when the grade is in.

Hm. I've never asked a guy out before. Never had to really think about the logistics.

...fuck

Nov. 20th, 2009 01:34 am
tarod45: (oops)
I have homework due tomorrow. I haven't started. There's a crap-ton of stuff that I need to do for it. Also, I'm tired and want to go to bed.

So what am I actually doing? Why, watching spn fanvids. Of course.

I am, just occasionally, a dumbass.
tarod45: (i think not.)
Back from the accounting test tonight. Damn income taxes, pension plans, and stock option compensation to hell. But mostly income taxes. I feel like my head exploded and my brain is currently splattered all over the classroom floor. The person typing this is actually the mindless zombie that once was me. Why did I want to be an accountant again?

Urgh. Anyway.

So, I'm having a bit of a crisis of conscience.

I don't read RPF. I do not read RPF. Ever. Just the thought of it creeps me the hell out. I don't judge the people who enjoy it, but RPF in any form is just my one, absolute, no-exceptions, bulletproof squick. I can't even make myself read the summaries, I'm that uncomfortable with the whole thing.

And yet. I find myself tempted. I can't help but wonder if it might not be alright to read massive AU RPF, where there's basically no real relationship between the real people and the characters in the story. You know, where the characters might as well be completely fictional, and only the names and maybe the personalities are based on the people, and the story makes nothing even remotely resembling an attempt at portraying reality.

I just. I know that there's a ton of quality RPF out there. A lot of authors that I really enjoy reading in SPN have, over the last year or two, largely jumped ship over to RPF. There were, I think, more J2 Big Bang stories this year than there were Wincest, other slash, gen, and het SPN fics combined. Several were by authors who, I swear, I cursed aloud when I found out they were doing RPF rather than SPN. I'm sure many of these stories are very good. I'd like to read them. But I am made so uncomfortable by just the idea.

I dunno. There are stories -- lots of stories -- that I'd actually really like to read. They're massively AU. They're by authors that I absolutely adore when they write SPN. I know in my head that there really isn't anything wrong with reading RPF at all. I just find it so creepy.

*sigh* I have such empathy for the folks in SPN fandom who're squicked by incest.

I think I've just talked myself into dipping my toe into the RPF pool. Let us pray that this is not a slippery slope. Because, I'm sorry, but it's just so creepy.

And to top it all off, I have Beyonce's "Single Ladies" stuck in my head. Perhaps I should take it as a sign and just get drunk. I think I'm going to bail on class tomorrow, anyway.

SPN 5x01

Sep. 11th, 2009 12:48 am
tarod45: Sam's in shock (oh god)
SPN 5x01 )

In non-story related news, how annoyed am I that I have class until 9 on Thursdays this semester? THIS annoyed. And this was not helped by the Steelers game being on at the same time today. (And I forgot to wear my jersey! I got on the bus this morning, and everyone was wearing a jersey, and I realized I'd totally forgot to wear mine! It's a Roethlisberger one. I love it, and I forgot to wear it, and I feel like a really bad Steelers fan. Oh well. They won, anyway, even without my psychic support. And dude, how cool was it, driving home, and looking out over the bridge, and seeing Heinz Field all lit up?)

And now, the question becomes, to sleep, or not to sleep? I have to be awake in about four hours, and I'm not sure it's worth it. My life is filled with such difficulties.
tarod45: (blinded)
A little over three hours after my Intermediate test, and I still feel as though my brain might just dribble out of my skull.

But! Big Bang is here, and my goodness it's started out with... ahem, a bang. And! I got my Sweet Charity fic! And it, too, was awesome. The only real complaint I can scrounge up is that I was inundated with purest awesome on the two days that I was so busy, I barely had time to eat. Though I made time for it all, anyway. Because I have no self-control.

Also! I get a chair! My aunt is replacing her living room furniture, and she says that when the replacements arrive, I can have the cushy chair. This is extremely exciting! I've been moaning about my lack of anywhere comfortable to sit for months now. As it stands, the only places I have sit are: bar stools, computer chairs, the bed, and the floor. None are what you'd call ideal for sitting back with a book.

And, having checked out nhl.com, I see that the Pens have won! They'll probably get their asses handed to them on Friday, but hey, they've fought it out to the seventh game. That is absolutely respectable, and no one can say they don't deserve to be where they are. And, you never know. Maybe they'll win. And maybe everyone will riot on campus like they did when the Steelers won the Superbowl. Either way, I'm just as glad I'm not going to be anywhere near Oakland on Friday night.

Oh! And I get to see Star Trek on Thursday! I am by no means a Trekkie: I've seen a handful of TNG eps, a much smaller handful of Voyager eps, and absolutely no TOS or DS9 -- basically, I like Q. That's it. Just Q. But, fandom seems to be all over the new movie, and it does look good, if only as an action flick. And I would sort of like to see Sylar with pointy ears.

Really, aside from tests making my head go explodey, life is good.
tarod45: (oops)
I was just putting my calendar for the month together when I realized: Big Bang starts on the first day of a week of tests this semester. I have a test both Monday and Tuesday night next week, not to mention a movie-date with a friend Tuesday afternoon. I actually need to study for both of these tests. Big Bang is not the distraction I need. Particularly when there are three or four fics from authors that I really like coming out the first couple of days. [livejournal.com profile] kroki_refur and [livejournal.com profile] fleshflutter on Monday, [livejournal.com profile] kellifer_fic and [livejournal.com profile] rei_c on Tuesday, and [livejournal.com profile] thenyxie on Wednesday. Why must so much awesomeness come out on just the days that I must (must! for the sake of my future!) ignore it all? Le sigh.
tarod45: (good vs evil)
So, my grade is finally in. Over two weeks after it was due, and three days after I could have done anything about it. *sigh* Oh well. At least I actually got into both the classes I needed, and the fact that I (miraculously) got a C ends any chance of my being kicked out of Intermediate. And, with a C, I would have needed to retake Managerial anyway, so nothing lost.

Speaking of which, I should be heading for campus right now to get the book for Managerial, considering I have homework due on Monday. The Managerial book is downright tiny and reasonable, compared to the Intermediate one, which is over 1300 pages, weighs over 6lbs, and is so expensive that overnight-shipping from Amazon didn't significantly change the price. I've not yet figured out if books in general are getting more and more expensive every year, or if I'm just lucky. Some combination of the two, I'm sure.

You know, I'm actually not this gloomy of a person. I suppose it's just that the only interesting things happening lately have been of the stress-inducing school or family variety. Aside from Supernatural. Which, despite the last lukewarm reaction, I'm still in love with, and am immensely looking forward both to Big Bang, come June, and the Sweet Charity fics I won from a couple of kickass authors. See? Just the thought all that upcoming awesomeness has cheered me right up. :)
tarod45: (sam'n'mary)
Only Wednesday, and already this has been a week to remember.

My step-mother showed up on Sunday. She'd missed coming out with my dad last weekend for my birthday, and (ostensibly) wanted to make it up to me by coming this weekend. I honestly haven't a clue why she actually came. She and I are not on that good of terms: I mean, we like each other well enough, but we don't have much in common, and tend to get on each other's nerves after a day or two. Sure enough, it was two days of awkwardness, annoyance, and emotional blackmail. And then, of course, I had class on Monday. Which she knew. I told her, going in, that I would have to go to class Monday night, that she'd be on her own on campus for about an hour, and then I'd leave early so we could go to dinner. She tried to blackmail me into not cutting early ("we're all so worried about you, Sam"). And then it comes time for me to actually leave for class, and it's like we'd never had that conversation, like she'd never thought that I was serious about going to class at all. I just wish I knew what the whole thing was about -- neither of us had a particularly good time, and she had to know that was going to be the case. I have a sneaking suspicion that she may actually have been on a spying mission from my father. *sigh* My family relationships used to be so simple.

And of course step-mom's visit came right in the middle of my on-going school drama. I still don't have the grade back from that class. My adviser and I have determined that it really doesn't matter what I made in it, though: it wasn't good, and I need to replace its grade with a B or better. So I'm retaking Managerial. It looked for a little while today like I wouldn't be allowed to stay in Intermediate, but my adviser was able to clear it. So, thank god, that's taken care of. For the record, though, I could kill my Cost professor for putting me through this. Yes, he's been in a bad way, health-wise. I sympathize. I do. But he should have turned grading over to someone else. Not only did he not do so, he refused a "suggestion" from the dean to do so.

I finally got the chance to talk to the director of the grad program I want to apply to. It was a somewhat disheartening conversation. I am, at best, a mediocre candidate. Apparently, if I can get out of Managerial (take 2) and Intermediate with at least B+'s, I have a very good shot. It's all just a bit of a blow to my pride. School has always been something I do really well in, with little or no effort. When I applied to grad school the last time, there was never any question that I'd be accepted, and, indeed, the two schools I applied to competed for me. Now, I'm a mediocre choice who may only just be able to squeak in. It's a bit of a come down.
tarod45: (Default)
I hate orientations.

I particularly hate orientations that start at 10am (when I am an hour away, meaning I actually have to wake up at a reasonable hour). Even more so, I hate orientations that are supposed to be four hours long, but are in fact, only an hour and a half, half of which consisted of meeting with my adviser (which I did just four days ago, and I still don't have my f'ing grade, so no new decisions could be made), and with a career/curriculum adviser whose only contribution was "You seem to know what you're doing, keep it up. Oh, and I see you had a sucky semester, you'll need to bring your GPA up." Thank you for that. I did not know any of that.

I want to be out of school so bad. Six years is enough. Funny to think that only two years ago, I thought I wanted to be in school forever. Easy to understand, I guess, when at the time I was finishing up a degree that I really and truly loved getting. Even easier to understand why I'm really hating school now, stuck in the middle of a degree that I don't particularly want. Christ, I don't want to be an accountant. And yet. Urgh.

Whatever. It's just until next December.
tarod45: (war Molly)
May as well begin as I intend to go on, so: today was an odd combination of boring and frustrating.

Today was the last day for summer registration, or so I hear. The new semester starts next Monday. I still don't have my grade for Cost in yet.

For future reference, the situation is this: I had an insane -- insane! -- professor for Cost Accounting. The guy has a definite(ly bad) reputation in the business school, and long story short, I didn't do well. I think. I'm pretty sure. But I don't know. Because, despite grades having been due back from professors last Wednesday, my Cost grade is still not in. And there exists a very real possibility that I failed, or at least got a D. In which case, I'd have to retake the class. But the possibility also exists that I got at least a C-. In which case, I shouldn't waste the money retaking the class -- at the university at least. And if I passed, then I should be moving on to Intermediate I. And if I failed (or got a D), I can't move on. And I don't know which is the case because my ancient, insane, stroke-prone professor hasn't given me my grade. And I needed that grade today. And because my university is also insane, I don't get to register for classes myself: I have to make an appointment with my adviser every time I want to do anything. So I had made an appointment last Friday for today (hoping my grade would be in), to finalize my summer schedule. So much for that. I ended up just registering for both Managerial (aka, Cost) and Intermediate I. I'll just have to drop whichever one it turns out I can't or shouldn't be taking. *sigh*

I also tried going over to the business grad school to talk to someone about the Master's of Accounting degree, but no one was in the office when I got there, so I left. I'll have to call soon.

Other than that? Not much of interest.

This was good. Cleansing. I should vent more often.

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tarod45: (Default)
Sam

April 2012

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