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tarod45So, I suppose I should just go ahead and do my post on the SPN S5 finale.
All I'm going to say about the episode itself, I think, is that I kinda adored it. Was it cheesy and over the top? Well, yes, very much so. But, was it everything that I wanted it to be? Pretty much.
As for the ending... well. I've had a week to mull stuff over, read other peoples' reactions and codas, and come to my own conclusions. Which are a bit different than most of what I've seen elsewhere. It's probably just as well that no one else is reading this.
On the topic of God, well. The implication was definitely that Chuck was God, and I feel no great urge to argue with that. He told us right from the start that he was a cruel, capricious god, and that seems to be how it turned out. Why didn't the amulet light up in his presence, you ask? Because the amulet being a God-hunting amulet was a silly idea they came up with in S5, one that had no purpose and didn't go anywhere, and that really only allowed for the symbolism of Castiel and then Dean throwing it away to signify throwing away their faith in the ones that meant the most to them. Which was a powerful and gut-wrenching scene. But that really doesn't make a god-hunting amulet any less of a silly idea that didn't go anywhere.
The other mystery is, of course, Sam, but I'll come back to that a bit later.
What I really want to talk about is Dean (and isn't that a switch).
First off, let me say this to clear the air: I have gotten over my annoyance with Dean completely. I have never, in the entire course of the show, loved Dean as much as I did this last episode. It's a good feeling, loving Dean again. And I love Sam just as much as I always have. So. None of what I am going to say is coming from any particular bitterness or bias. It is, in fact, coming from honest affection for both the boys.
Much has been said on various sides of the debate over Dean's "ending" (and this isn't a two-sided debate, it's more octagonal). I haven't seen every side of the debate, having been sticking, for my sanity, to Sam girls and Sam/Dean shippers. I have, however, seen a number of responses to other sides of the debate, at least enough to know what other people are saying. And I think, not to put too fine a point on it, that pretty much everyone is wrong.
First off, the accusations and/or hopes that I have not heard personally but have seen reactions to that Dean doesn't care that Sam died and he's off to have his absolute happy ending with Lisa? Yeah, these people have clearly not been watching the same show as the rest of us. Of course Dean cares. It would have been a pretty pointless five years of watching these boys love each other and hurt each other and then still love each other, if it all ended with one of them not caring that the other is dead and in hell. And, as for the idea that Dean, inexplicably, decided that "Hey, Sam's dead! Now I can go off and have that happy, normal life that I've always secretly longed for, and there's no one to stop me! Haha, mine is a devious laugh!"? Um. No. Dean is currently destroyed. The person he loves more than anyone in the world, for whom he has in the past sold his soul, and for whom -- we are told, and more importantly, shown, this very episode -- he would very happily die, is dead and in hell. Dean's not looking for a happy ending. Dean, just now, doesn't think that he could ever be happy.
Dean went to Lisa because Sam made him promise. And even if you want to interpret Dean's silence in response to Sam's demand for a promise as not-a-promise, it doesn't change the fact that it's what Sam wanted him to do. And so Dean's doing it. If left to his own devices, I have no doubt that Dean would be in no better a place than Sam was when their situations were reversed: drunk off his head, looking either to make a deal or to die.
A number of people have said, or at least implied, that Sam was cruel in making Dean make that promise, or in giving him such a specific checklist for what kind of life to have. On the contrary, though. Dean doesn't think he can be happy without Sam. If Sam had just said "do what makes you happy," Dean would be trying to bring Sam back, or he'd be dead. If Sam had told Dean to keep hunting, I think it's safe to say he'd be dead within a year. We know, after all, that Dean is emotionally distraught (to say the least), which doesn't make for the best condition to be hunting in at the best of times, and that he's suicidal. It wouldn't take long at all before he got either careless or "careless," and that would be that.
When you get right down to it, Dean doesn't deal well with being left at loose ends, and he's self-destructive without someone or something to ground him. Even during his brief separation from Sam this season, he had Castiel. And in 5x04 future, he could still concentrate on Sam, on "saving him or killing him." There are really only two times Dean has been truly on his own, which for him really boils down to when Dean was completely and utterly without Sam: when Sam died, and Dean immediately sold his soul to bring Sam back; and when Dean felt that Sam had entirely emotionally deserted him, and he almost immediately tried to give himself to Michael.
Sam knows all of this. By giving Dean that checklist, he was giving him something to focus on. By sending him to Lisa, and probably more importantly, to Ben, Sam was giving Dean someone to focus on. Not as a replacement. You can't ever really replace anyone that you love, let alone someone you loved as much as Dean loved Sam. But Ben and Lisa don't have to be replacements in order to mean something. Dean doesn't have to love them as much as he loved Sam in order for them to be worth living for.
And Dean almost certainly never will love them as much as he loved Sam. But that's not necessarily a bad thing. The entirety of the series has been about how Dean loved Sam too much. You don't need to love someone like that to be happy. Indeed, loving someone like that is likely to lead to something that is definitely not happiness -- as seen in Sam and Dean's own relationship. So, no, Ben and Lisa aren't meant to be replacements for Sam, nor are his potential feelings for them meant to rival those he had for Sam. But that's not a bad thing.
And the thing is, there is potential for Dean to have feelings for Ben and Lisa. Now, did Dean arrive on Lisa's doorstep and they just fell into this true love romance? Almost certainly not. Dean isn't capable at the moment of developing any sort of relationship. He's in pieces. And let's face it: the two barely know each other. They had marathon sex, which they both clearly remember fondly. She and Ben know a bit about the supernatural and Dean's hunting. She's grateful to Dean for saving her son. Dean and Ben had a rapport of sorts. So, no, there's no real basis for love, yet. But there is potential. And what's more, that's more potential than Dean has with any other woman walking the planet, what with Jo and Pamela being gone, and in the condition he's in, he's not likely to be able to build the foundations for anything better with anyone else. Is it all going to be flowers and rainbows and puppies? No. But it's a start.
Also, to address the issue of Lisa and Ben, in and of themselves. Is it fair to Lisa for Dean to show up on her doorstep, pretty much out of the blue, a broken man looking for someone to put him back together? No, not really. Still. She had made the offer for him to come to her. She is fond of him, and grateful that he saved her son. Leaving love entirely out of the question, she does sort of owe him some sort of emotional support, just based on their history and her gratitude. That's not to say the obligation is unlimited. If he were irrevocably broken, if he were going to spend the rest of his life in a drunken, near-catatonic haze of grief, she would be well within both her rights as a person and responsibilities as a mother to turn him out on his ass in short order. However, assuming that Dean is going to be like that is doing him a bit of a disservice, I think.
Chuck tells us that every fiber of Dean's being wants to bring Sam back, or die. That's strong language, and it tells us very clearly how affected Dean is by Sam's death. But, the thing is, it's pretty typical grief. When you lose someone you love, anyone, those are your immediate reactions. And by "someone you love," I don't mean your grandma who you saw once or twice a year, or your Great-Aunt Mildred who sent you those juicy checks on your birthday. I mean someone you really, actively love, who is an actual, integral part of your daily life. In the first flush of grief, most people's reactions are: "I'd give anything, anything, to have them back," and/or "Please just let it end, I don't want to live without them." There's nothing wrong or unusual about those reactions. And when it's all fresh, you really mean it. Maybe, in a small way, you never stop meaning it. But then life goes on, and as much as you mean to hold on to your grief and despair forever... you don't. Life might never be quite as bright or beautiful ever again, but it goes on, and you find reasons for going on with it, and finding some measure of joy in what remains.
Right now, Dean doesn't want to live without Sam. He's spent his whole life bound up in Sam, in one way or another. Mostly in protecting him. The last couple of seasons have, in part, been about Dean recognizing Sam as an adult who doesn't need protecting, and recognizing himself as an individual, with an identity separate from Sam. That doesn't mean they loved or needed each other any less, just that they've been moving more towards being Sam and Dean, rather than SamandDean. I'm not saying that Sam being gone from Dean's life is a good thing, or that Dean will be happier for it (see my previous long-winded meta on 5x03 for my opinion on Dean being "happier" without Sam). However. Sam's absence will push Dean along in becoming just Dean, instead of one half of SamandDean. And when he manages to do that, I think that, even without Sam, he's perfectly capable of being happy.
God. Between this and class, my brain is officially fried. And also, this has pretty well run longer than some of the codas I've read in the last week. And I still have more to say. And I will, inevitably, say it. Tomorrow. After finishing up my game of Civilization.
All I'm going to say about the episode itself, I think, is that I kinda adored it. Was it cheesy and over the top? Well, yes, very much so. But, was it everything that I wanted it to be? Pretty much.
As for the ending... well. I've had a week to mull stuff over, read other peoples' reactions and codas, and come to my own conclusions. Which are a bit different than most of what I've seen elsewhere. It's probably just as well that no one else is reading this.
On the topic of God, well. The implication was definitely that Chuck was God, and I feel no great urge to argue with that. He told us right from the start that he was a cruel, capricious god, and that seems to be how it turned out. Why didn't the amulet light up in his presence, you ask? Because the amulet being a God-hunting amulet was a silly idea they came up with in S5, one that had no purpose and didn't go anywhere, and that really only allowed for the symbolism of Castiel and then Dean throwing it away to signify throwing away their faith in the ones that meant the most to them. Which was a powerful and gut-wrenching scene. But that really doesn't make a god-hunting amulet any less of a silly idea that didn't go anywhere.
The other mystery is, of course, Sam, but I'll come back to that a bit later.
What I really want to talk about is Dean (and isn't that a switch).
First off, let me say this to clear the air: I have gotten over my annoyance with Dean completely. I have never, in the entire course of the show, loved Dean as much as I did this last episode. It's a good feeling, loving Dean again. And I love Sam just as much as I always have. So. None of what I am going to say is coming from any particular bitterness or bias. It is, in fact, coming from honest affection for both the boys.
Much has been said on various sides of the debate over Dean's "ending" (and this isn't a two-sided debate, it's more octagonal). I haven't seen every side of the debate, having been sticking, for my sanity, to Sam girls and Sam/Dean shippers. I have, however, seen a number of responses to other sides of the debate, at least enough to know what other people are saying. And I think, not to put too fine a point on it, that pretty much everyone is wrong.
First off, the accusations and/or hopes that I have not heard personally but have seen reactions to that Dean doesn't care that Sam died and he's off to have his absolute happy ending with Lisa? Yeah, these people have clearly not been watching the same show as the rest of us. Of course Dean cares. It would have been a pretty pointless five years of watching these boys love each other and hurt each other and then still love each other, if it all ended with one of them not caring that the other is dead and in hell. And, as for the idea that Dean, inexplicably, decided that "Hey, Sam's dead! Now I can go off and have that happy, normal life that I've always secretly longed for, and there's no one to stop me! Haha, mine is a devious laugh!"? Um. No. Dean is currently destroyed. The person he loves more than anyone in the world, for whom he has in the past sold his soul, and for whom -- we are told, and more importantly, shown, this very episode -- he would very happily die, is dead and in hell. Dean's not looking for a happy ending. Dean, just now, doesn't think that he could ever be happy.
Dean went to Lisa because Sam made him promise. And even if you want to interpret Dean's silence in response to Sam's demand for a promise as not-a-promise, it doesn't change the fact that it's what Sam wanted him to do. And so Dean's doing it. If left to his own devices, I have no doubt that Dean would be in no better a place than Sam was when their situations were reversed: drunk off his head, looking either to make a deal or to die.
A number of people have said, or at least implied, that Sam was cruel in making Dean make that promise, or in giving him such a specific checklist for what kind of life to have. On the contrary, though. Dean doesn't think he can be happy without Sam. If Sam had just said "do what makes you happy," Dean would be trying to bring Sam back, or he'd be dead. If Sam had told Dean to keep hunting, I think it's safe to say he'd be dead within a year. We know, after all, that Dean is emotionally distraught (to say the least), which doesn't make for the best condition to be hunting in at the best of times, and that he's suicidal. It wouldn't take long at all before he got either careless or "careless," and that would be that.
When you get right down to it, Dean doesn't deal well with being left at loose ends, and he's self-destructive without someone or something to ground him. Even during his brief separation from Sam this season, he had Castiel. And in 5x04 future, he could still concentrate on Sam, on "saving him or killing him." There are really only two times Dean has been truly on his own, which for him really boils down to when Dean was completely and utterly without Sam: when Sam died, and Dean immediately sold his soul to bring Sam back; and when Dean felt that Sam had entirely emotionally deserted him, and he almost immediately tried to give himself to Michael.
Sam knows all of this. By giving Dean that checklist, he was giving him something to focus on. By sending him to Lisa, and probably more importantly, to Ben, Sam was giving Dean someone to focus on. Not as a replacement. You can't ever really replace anyone that you love, let alone someone you loved as much as Dean loved Sam. But Ben and Lisa don't have to be replacements in order to mean something. Dean doesn't have to love them as much as he loved Sam in order for them to be worth living for.
And Dean almost certainly never will love them as much as he loved Sam. But that's not necessarily a bad thing. The entirety of the series has been about how Dean loved Sam too much. You don't need to love someone like that to be happy. Indeed, loving someone like that is likely to lead to something that is definitely not happiness -- as seen in Sam and Dean's own relationship. So, no, Ben and Lisa aren't meant to be replacements for Sam, nor are his potential feelings for them meant to rival those he had for Sam. But that's not a bad thing.
And the thing is, there is potential for Dean to have feelings for Ben and Lisa. Now, did Dean arrive on Lisa's doorstep and they just fell into this true love romance? Almost certainly not. Dean isn't capable at the moment of developing any sort of relationship. He's in pieces. And let's face it: the two barely know each other. They had marathon sex, which they both clearly remember fondly. She and Ben know a bit about the supernatural and Dean's hunting. She's grateful to Dean for saving her son. Dean and Ben had a rapport of sorts. So, no, there's no real basis for love, yet. But there is potential. And what's more, that's more potential than Dean has with any other woman walking the planet, what with Jo and Pamela being gone, and in the condition he's in, he's not likely to be able to build the foundations for anything better with anyone else. Is it all going to be flowers and rainbows and puppies? No. But it's a start.
Also, to address the issue of Lisa and Ben, in and of themselves. Is it fair to Lisa for Dean to show up on her doorstep, pretty much out of the blue, a broken man looking for someone to put him back together? No, not really. Still. She had made the offer for him to come to her. She is fond of him, and grateful that he saved her son. Leaving love entirely out of the question, she does sort of owe him some sort of emotional support, just based on their history and her gratitude. That's not to say the obligation is unlimited. If he were irrevocably broken, if he were going to spend the rest of his life in a drunken, near-catatonic haze of grief, she would be well within both her rights as a person and responsibilities as a mother to turn him out on his ass in short order. However, assuming that Dean is going to be like that is doing him a bit of a disservice, I think.
Chuck tells us that every fiber of Dean's being wants to bring Sam back, or die. That's strong language, and it tells us very clearly how affected Dean is by Sam's death. But, the thing is, it's pretty typical grief. When you lose someone you love, anyone, those are your immediate reactions. And by "someone you love," I don't mean your grandma who you saw once or twice a year, or your Great-Aunt Mildred who sent you those juicy checks on your birthday. I mean someone you really, actively love, who is an actual, integral part of your daily life. In the first flush of grief, most people's reactions are: "I'd give anything, anything, to have them back," and/or "Please just let it end, I don't want to live without them." There's nothing wrong or unusual about those reactions. And when it's all fresh, you really mean it. Maybe, in a small way, you never stop meaning it. But then life goes on, and as much as you mean to hold on to your grief and despair forever... you don't. Life might never be quite as bright or beautiful ever again, but it goes on, and you find reasons for going on with it, and finding some measure of joy in what remains.
Right now, Dean doesn't want to live without Sam. He's spent his whole life bound up in Sam, in one way or another. Mostly in protecting him. The last couple of seasons have, in part, been about Dean recognizing Sam as an adult who doesn't need protecting, and recognizing himself as an individual, with an identity separate from Sam. That doesn't mean they loved or needed each other any less, just that they've been moving more towards being Sam and Dean, rather than SamandDean. I'm not saying that Sam being gone from Dean's life is a good thing, or that Dean will be happier for it (see my previous long-winded meta on 5x03 for my opinion on Dean being "happier" without Sam). However. Sam's absence will push Dean along in becoming just Dean, instead of one half of SamandDean. And when he manages to do that, I think that, even without Sam, he's perfectly capable of being happy.
God. Between this and class, my brain is officially fried. And also, this has pretty well run longer than some of the codas I've read in the last week. And I still have more to say. And I will, inevitably, say it. Tomorrow. After finishing up my game of Civilization.
